Dating

In the show, Rayyan tries to explain that dating in Islam is like window shopping where the woman may know that a guy is good for her just by observing him or asking a few questions.

But that’s what dating is isn’t it? Getting to know the other person via an interview over dinner. It just might be at the girl’s parents place over coffee with the parents answering the questions. Usually, the whole family is involved and they are called over for tea where they discuss the children’s potential as a couple. The children are also given the opportunity to talk to each other in private.

What’s your opinion on dating? Does culture have something to do with the definition of dating in Islam?

Do you have any stories from your ‘family’ dating experience?

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5 Comments

Filed under Episode 3

5 responses to “Dating

  1. shenaaz

    It is very difficult to determine if the person is what their parents describe them to be. Of course, they will only say good things about their son. I’ve heard alot of stories, where the girls are ready to leave after a month of marriage.

  2. Jamal

    I have a cousin who recently was setup with a guy from Australia. They only met a few times and now they are married. Of course, I haven’t kept in touch much, but I think things are going well.

  3. fatima

    I agree with Shenaaz. There have been many incidences where the women commit only after a few meetings and then regret it for the rest of their lives. There has to be a better way, but should it be without crossing the boundaries of Islam?

  4. Afzalun

    I agree with Fatima and Shenaaz on some level, however i do believe that committing after a few meetings gives the responsibility to whomever is committing, whether it be the man or woman. It is thier duty to do the research behind the person and not wait to be informed. The reality is, no one is perfect, and it is your duty to find out if thier imperfections are things you can tolerate.

    Anyone whom brags about thier son or daughter as having money or being attractive as thier key points may be hidding something. They should concentrate on ethics, moral and education (textbook and street smarts). Money and being attractive are issues that may diminsh over time, however having someone who is morally devine, ethically conscience, and have enough rational to understand the fundementals of life and hurt is the key to finding an appropriate suiter.

    Im sure that objecting to getting beat up by your husband, or him having other affairs would not be crossing the boundaries of Islam. The mentality of many arranged couples are, if the husband does anything bad, the wife will not tell anyone and stand by him no matter what, because she has no other choice. If the fear of objection and Talak (Islamic Divorce) is present at the time of marriage, men wont do things like have affairs or beat thier wives. And the same goes for women whom are marrying just because of money and greed, men should let them know that marriage is a matter of the heart. It does not involve money, jelousy nor lies/affairs. If anyone is marrying because of those reasons, thier marriage is an automatic downfall and getting a divorce/talak is not crossing the boundaries of Islam.

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